Facing Outer Darkness

The gates of outer darkness were large and terrifying. They loomed high above and wide on the ground. The ground was scorched, dead with no beauty or pleasantness, only despair.

The Angels of light forced us in, we entered Outer Darkness- me and my family.

The cold settled in all around us, we were naked, exposed.

We heard the screams of hell before we saw them. The tortured souls all around us. Weeping, wailing, and gnashing their teeth.

We had nothing for protection but ourselves- our bodies, our minds. But I would be damned if I let my children be alone in such a place. We sat down on the ground near a charred rock and huddled as a family. I don’t care what anyone thinks, says or believes- I will protect my children for an eternity. I will hold them, cover them and protect them with the naked skin of my back until the flames have consumed my entire body.

As I hold my family tight, protecting and comforting my children with all my ability, I look across the expanse of eternity to stare into the eyes of the God who would damn us to such a place.

A God who would throw his own children into endless suffering and misery, just for doubting, disbelieving, or not being capable or willing to yield exact obedience to his commandments.

And even in those moments I will bring no hatred to my gaze. For such a God, if He exists, must surely have been really hurt or traumatised to have become capable of condemning his children to eternal torment, or withholding his love and comfort if he thought they were unworthy or full of sin. Oh dear God, you poor, broken creature. You are not worthy of being called my dad.

My children- my sexuality and sexual choices. My intellect: scepticism, doubt, rationality. My fears, my hopes, and dreams. My past. My present. My future.

I will hold and protect you from the cold and the darkness. As long as I am around, you are safe, even in this miserable place- I will hold you tight until the end.

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